Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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