I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
