The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
