But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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