Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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