good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
