Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize