I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
