Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
