i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
