I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
