If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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