Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
