so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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