my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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