Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
