You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
