On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just google imaged poop.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
