First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
