Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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