I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
