My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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