I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
