Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
