I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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