theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i think i just lost a toe
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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