she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
