the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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