THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize