So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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