So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You're like the curious george of whores
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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