I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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