oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
