I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
