hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
