help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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