Tell her she can't have a vagina
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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