I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
