At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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