so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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