Where is the hickey?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
