I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
