what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize