nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Randomize
