I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it's like iHOP with fire
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
