I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
