Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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