I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
