God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
