...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
