Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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