I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
