pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
