I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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