Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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